My life is an open book

1. I was born May 6, 1978, aka 5-6-78...5-6-7-8! means I was born to dance! =) I love to dance.
2. I am the oldest of 6 kids-3 girls, 3 boys. My youngest sibling is 13 years younger than me. A big family is a challenge but a blessing.
3. I am an extreme perfectionist. OCD! Everything around me needs to be orderly, clean, organized, chronological, etc. or I will freak out.
4. I asked Jesus to live in my heart when I was 5 years old at a Summer Bible Camp at Gladstone First Baptist Church; I prayed with Teri.
5. My dad was music leader and Youth Pastor at Gladstone First Baptist Church 1981-1985. I met Tyler there when I was 3, he was 5. We (my family and the Lewis families) left the church in 1985. had something to do with Teri.
6. My dad was a Pastor at Spirit, Love & Truth, a non-denominational Church 1986-1992. PK! It was a small church, half of it was Lewis families! ;)
7. As early as I can remember, about age 6, every wish and prayer was to marry Tyler Lewis! :)
8. I did gymnastics year-round from age 5, at Sunburst and Portland Gymnastics Center, until about age 11 or 12. I can still do backflips and the splits.
9. I went to Parkrose public Elementary School, then Portland Christian Junior High and High School.
10. In 8th grade, I started Running. I averaged 30-40 miles/week until I was 23 and had kids; 10 years of running 6 days a week. Now I’m lucky to run 1 day a week, but I still enjoy it.
11. I have always been really shy, social anxiety, and struggle with feeling judged. (nobody likes me, guess I’ll go eat worms…was my favorite song through school) I had eating problems in High School and over-exercised to feel better about myself (Tyler was my cure)
12. I draw (pencil sketches), play the piano, dance, run and read lots of books, including the Bible, all of which I would do more of if I had the time. Now I color with my kids, play chopsticks with my kids, dance with my kids, run around the house chasing my kids and read stories, including the Bible, to my kids!
13. In High School I played Volleyball, Soccer, Cheerleading for boys basketball and Track. I set a school record in the Triple Jump.
14. I would have been the #1 Cheerleader in 1A/2A/3A at the State Competition my Senior year, if I didn’t break a safety rule by dropping into splits without hands, but I still made the top 10 All-State team. (just meant no scholarship for me, but I wasn’t planning to go to college anyways =)
15. My first kiss was a month before I turned 16, after Tyler and I finally started dating. Tyler was my first kiss and the only person I’ve kissed :*
16. I was engaged to Tyler on December 23, 1995, after he finally asked my dad for his blessing. I was a Senior in High School, only 17 years old!
17. I got straight A’s in High School. I was a 4.0 Valedictorian with my friends, Sami & Lexi.
18. I was married August 10th, 1996, at Gladstone First Baptist Church, 2 months after I graduated High School! (This was what I wanted since I was 6, remember?!) I was 18, Tyler was 20.
19. My first alcoholic drink was on my 21st birthday, on a dinner-date with my husband. I wish I could remember what my first drink was? I love a glass of wine now in the evening to help relax.
20. I was pregnant with my first child at age 22. I prayed he would be early and small (instead of 4 weeks past the due date like my mom’s first child-me!) Dominick was born 2 months early, because my water broke, the same week as my birthday and Mother’s Day! He was 4lb 3oz. Easy delivery. Healthy, small baby!
21. 21 months later, baby #2 was so easy I said "I could do this again!" after she popped out. I prayed for a girl that would be outgoing and like to talk to her mother (unlike my mom’s first child-me!) Brianna was 6lb10oz. 110% Girl. When she was 5 she told me one night in bed, “I want to talk about something but I can’t think of something to say, wait, it’s coming up…” She’s a talker! Getting her to be quiet is the challenge ;)
22. 4 years later, our 3rd child was a surprise. The ultrasound looked like a girl so we thought we were having Abigail until, after the longest and most painful labor ever, we were surprised with baby Boy Lewis! Isaac, which means laughter, was 7lb11oz. I still think at times my life would be easier with just the older 2 kids but Isaac makes us laugh all the time and, of course, our family would not be as good without him!
23. I have fought depression my whole life. I think it's a spiritual battle that should be battled with prayer, but after one of my longest episodes and persistent suicide thoughts, I got on medication about 2 years ago. It also helps my social anxiety =)
24. I was laid off summer of 2008 by my employer of 12 years, Fidelity National Title Company. Good thing I was on medication! hehe. Now I am a preschool teacher at Sonshine Preschool at Gladstone First Baptist Church and I LOVE my job! Happiness is worth more than money :)
25. I love our church, Faith Evangelical Church, we started attending a few years ago and they are family! I know we live in a Spiritual world. I've seen angels and demons. I can't wait to see God! And spend Eternity with Him and His Son, Jesus!

I wrote this a year ago on Facebook, in response to a Note thread that was being passed around. I thought I should share this before my next post, which is a very personal confession of the struggles I live with. Despite the many answered prayers and blessings God has given us, there will still be struggles. We're only human. But we can learn to Trust God and grow in our Faith. God is in control of our lives and "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the Day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

Faith

Kutless, speaking about their new album, It Is Well, say "in our weakness we see how strong God is." Expanding on this, they wrote beautiful words in my new favorite song, What Faith Can Do: "Everybody falls sometimes, you gotta find the strength to rise...you're stronger than you know, don't give up now, the sun will soon be shining, you gotta face the clouds to find the silver lining...Impossible is not a word, it's just a reason for someone not to try...life is so much more than what your eyes are seeing...I've seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn't ever end even when the sky is falling. I've seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new, that's what faith can do...Even if you fall sometimes, you will have the strength to rise." :)

Prayer is our greatest act of Faith. I wrote about the Book of Hours, and how it impacted me, reminding me of the importance and power of prayer, humbling me to my knees. I wanted to write a follow-up, but so much has happened since that book, I keep re-writing my ideas for a follow-up! It started at Prayer, but what do I need to pray about? "The Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:26. I was directed to 1 Corinthians 13. I needed more Love. "These three remain: faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13. Then I read another book by T. Davis Bunn, The Quilt, a short story of an elderly woman in her last days of life sewing her last quilt, with the help of younger family members and friends. The purpose of the quilt was the process of making it: "you have to say a prayer of thanks with each stitch sewn." She shared her life's memories, the good with the bad. "The Lord holds me always in His love; always there, always loving, always giving, always healing. At my weakest, the Lord is strongest...one of the most basic responsibilities we have, we must glorify our God and we must give thanks to Him, and I'm not just talking about some little act we can take on when times are good and there's a few extra minutes!" Romans 1:21 says "For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened." So I started thanking God for everything in my life, even the bad, and then, I was led face to face with my weaknesses, things I've tried to bury and hide. Then I received Kutless' new album IT IS WELL, and came back to the beginning: Faith.

My Dad's Stories of Faith are amazing! (you should read them) They are amazing because they are stories that have somewhat of a happy ending. They have already been lived out, fought through with prayerful tears, heartaches and promises, and we are reading them now with the big picture revealed. But in the midst of a Faithful life, it doesn't seem amazing and sometimes not too happy, because we don't see the big picture yet. But God sees the big picture and we can be strong even in our weakest times, because "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak...those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength...So do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you." Isaiah 40:29-31, 41:10.

The promise of 3 demons. I will use the word struggle (Ephesians 6:12) but you can call it what you want: weakness, struggle, sin or demon. It's all the same. If it's keeping us from the presence of God, then it's from the enemy, but God can use the enemy's evil influence and struggles to develop and mature us. I already knew what I struggled with when I found out as an adult that my dad was told when I was a child I would have 3 specific struggles. We don't know exactly what they were but I know what I struggle with, and boy, oh boy, it is hard to overcome a struggle. I should know. I've been stuck on that roller coaster of life for many, many years, always having to overcome the same struggles, again and again, wondering when will it end? Can there be a full deliverance of this struggle so I don't have to deal with it again? I've struggled with doubt as a result of these questions, but Faith has long since overcome that struggle. I've learned that God gives and takes in His timing, and He allows some of the thorns to stay so we will learn things like Trust and Faith! And I also think if you're truly striving to live a Faithful, fruitful life, Satan will try harder to hold you down in your struggles. Yikes! I had had enough with my struggle of Purity about 5 years ago. Here I insert that I think names are powerful and important: the meaning of Kari is Pure. It is what I've always wanted to be, even before I realized this. And so the meaning of my name is my biggest struggle. A quote I just read in a book by Ted Dekker: "A path leading to purity will cross enough challenges to make the human head spin! It's not only arriving at the conclusion of purity, which is so thrilling, but it's the journey; overcoming the challenges, each passed and won presents a new level of satisfaction." 5 years ago I opened my heart and shared my impure thoughts with a friend, but I didn't receive the help and encouragement I was hoping for. Instead I was told these kind of thoughts are a normal human thing, so it's ok, and I shouldn't be so hard on myself for not being perfect. But I don't think perfection and purity are the same thing. I know humans can't be perfect and I was striving for "The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith." 1 Timothy 1:5. Needless to say, I haven't opened my heart to anyone since then, and probably not fully to myself or God either. Which leads me to my next struggle, Depression. It has always been there, as early as I can remember. It's the worst roller coaster ride you could possibly imagine going on. Imagine shooting up to the Heavens in a rocket ship fueled by prayer, suddenly losing gas, and falling fast, but a little gas (prayer) suddenly kicks in so you blast up again, then fall, this time a little further before the gas (prayer) kicks in, then up again, and so it goes for many, many years, until you have no gas left so your rocket crashes on bare land. Ouch. I crashed a few years ago and I resorted to meds to pick up the broken pieces of my life. And they helped. But they didn't get rid of the struggle, they just hid it. And my other struggles got more show time. Pride. The lowest point of my falls is medically called depression, and there is medication for it, but the highest points, spiritual highs, now there is no medical diagnosis, in fact, in this success driven world, this behavior is ratified. But I know it's wrong. "Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." 1 Peter 5:5-6. When I confront my struggle of Pride, I am humbled, which is a nice way of saying I am completely embarrassed. Having your heart, your innermost thoughts and feelings, opened up on the medical examining table is quite disconcerting. But this time I did not crash. I am not taking my meds as of few months ago, slowly decreasing, then needing them no more. And the Lord has shown me a lot. He is teaching me the fine balance between the high and low struggles, and is unveiling the big picture to me. "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt...you can say to this mountain, 'Go throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." Matthew 21:21-22.

Prayer is powerful! A wise mom told me that we are giving the enemy opportunity to drive his claws into innocent victims. Our kids! are innocent! I have thought of this before but was not ready to accept it or see how it applies to me so clearly as I do now. I know what struggles I need to pray against in my life and in my kids' lives. And we wonder why our kids turn out just like us..."[God] maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation." Exodus 34:7. Makes you want to cast out all your struggles/sins/demons right now, doesn't it?! Have Faith! God wants to help us. That's why He's written out exactly what to do in The Bible! "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God...the belt of Truth...the breastplate of Righteousness...the gospel of Peace...the shield of Faith...the helmet of Salvation...the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. And PRAY in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying!" Ephesians 6:12-18. Amen.

Last soccer game

It was a hard game to end on. Played at our least favorite field (luckily the Indian's fans weren't there, just a small group of nice Estacada and Gladstone parents and friends!) we lost 0-2 against Estacada, who goes on to play North Marion, the winner goes to State Playoffs.

It was hardest for our Senior goal keeper, Scott, and all 12 Seniors. We're all sad when it's over but we had a great year to be proud of! Despite injuries early in the season and losing our leading scorer, we made it to League playoffs! Being the Coach's personal secretary and a cheering fan for 10 years, it's hard for me to say good-bye to the Senior's and their parents. :( But some will be back soon! :) Here's to the future:
Trick-or-Treating with the Trosts! We had a fun Halloween with our friends! :)

GHS Varsity Soccer boys

We took the boys to the beach October 9th for 3 days, 2 nights! It was a sunny, warm weekend on the Oregon Coast: We all had fun in the sun; in the water and in the sand!
It wasn't all fun and games. The boys had to cook the meals and clean-up after each meal. Well, they sometimes had fun doing that too:

After the sun set on our last night...the boys built a BIG bonfire:

Last weekend they came over to our house for Coach's Rib Feast:

We sure do enjoy this time of year...going to soccer games, making new friends, and having a fun time with the "soccer boys" (it's what our kids call them)!

It's been another exciting year! Tonight is their last game, at home, and I heard they play Saturday in League Playoffs :) Congrats Coach and "soccer boys"!

New dishwasher

Our old dishwasher stopped working about 5 months ago, I finally bought and installed a new one about 1 month ago, tonight I finally re-installed the floor in front of it and cleaned the kitchen (I finally have a reason to clean the house) so I can finally take a picture: Finally. matching white appliances!

Thank you Eric and Jill for the stove! Thank you credit card points for the dishwasher.

gone fishing

The salmon are running in Grandpa's creak! Dominick had a fun and succesful time fishing with his Uncle Jon and Uncle Sam. :)They caught 2 salmon! One was soooo big :O Now mommy needs to smoke them. smoked salmon. yum!

Croup

Isaac woke up early Tuesday morning, almost a week ago, with a croupy cough. His breathing became more difficult, getting worse at night, causing a trip to the hospital. Upper Respiratory Infection, aka. a cold, which is a viral infection of the air passages leading to the lungs. It caused Croup, which is inflammation of the larynx, and in young kids and babies, with smaller throats, this can be scary. They gave him a steroid to open up his air passages that should last 72 hours. It lasted 72 hours but he wasn't better, his breathing got worse and he began having wheezing, coughing attacks. Papa's nebulizer came in handy to help him breath, but Friday night we had to go to the hospital again. It's so hard watching your child struggling to breath and their little body shaking with every cough.
Monday morning he woke up sounding a lot better, just in time to see his Dr. for follow-up. Everything checked out normal and healthy, except an awful sounding cough, but finally he is getting better! In fact, he jumped up on the table and sang (through a mask) to the whole doctor's office! :)

Book of Hours

I just finished a wonderful book, The Book of Hours by T. Davis Bunn, from the Faith Church library. It reminded me of the importance of prayer, not just in the morning, with meal and before bed, but "Seven times a day do I praise thee" [Psalm 119: 164]

A little bit about the book..."After his wife's death, Brian's days and hours became a meaningless blur. But, after travelling for two years and recovering from a tropical fever, he finally goes to the English village of Knightsbridge to confront the inheritance of his wife's aunt's Castle Keep. It was her dying wish for him to return to the place she grew up in and where she faced her fears, learned about God and knew that the Castle's secrets would help him heal. When he arrives, though, he hears the tragic news that the Castle is being auctioned off in 7 days due to overdue death taxes. At first he doesn't care, ready to move on, but after finding a personal, touching letter from the Castle's deceased master Heather, his wife's aunt, he is led on a search for more letters and secrets that lay in the Castle grounds. At the same time the Village is in the process of voting for or against the restoration of the 7 church's bells, which used to ring on the hour all day and night. Brian learns about the heritage of the church bells as a signal to pray every hour, and as he comes to love Castle Keep and the village, he turns to the power of prayer as he tries to solve Castle Keep's mystery and find healing."

The Book of Hours and the meaning of the ringing of Church Bells was something I didn't really know about or understand, so of course I did some research online.

The Book of Hours was written in the thirteenth century in some European countries so the lay people could follow the practice of the monks and nuns, who prayed the Psalms and a variety of prayers, canticles, hymns, readings from the Bible, and dialogues composed in a complex book known as the breviary. The Book of Hours is a simpler book with basic content: calendar, Gospel readings, Prayers, Hours of the Virgin, Hours of the Cross, Hours of the Holy Spirit, Psalms, Office for the dead and Suffrages to Saints, according to Medievalist.net

I am not Catholic and follow only the teachings of the Bible, so this book is not something I would use, but it is a great idea to follow these traditions of praying throughout the day, which I used to do before 3 kids and a busier schedule kept my mind occupied. So I set some reminders on my cell phone, for certain hours every day, to the tune of the door bell ring, which sounds a little like the church bells, to remind myself to say a short or long, as needed, prayer. Today I got to put it into practice for the first time. Since I was not able to help at preschool, due to a sick Isaac, I prayed for each kid specifically and the teachers, at each time I knew what was going on at the school. I hope to hear that the day, Tuesday being the hardest day, went smoothly, but mostly praying for it gave me peace about not being there to help. For it is not me that can change, help and teach these children, but The Holy Spirit working through me, and through everyone involved in the kids' daily life.

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is anyone sick?...And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well...The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective" James 5:13-16.

Romans 8:26. look it up.

bike-a-thon

Sonshine Preschool had a bike-a-thon this week to raise money to provide playground equipment for the new outdoor playground. It was a success!

This week Dom and Bri's school also had their annual jog-a-thon to raise money for all their field trips and extracurricular activities.

It's not too late to pledge money for Dom and Bri if you can. They would be grateful!

These are my favorite kind of fundraisers :)

Swine Flu

It's going around because, guess what, it's flu season. I am not writing to scare you, but to inform you: the H1N1 virus is just another type of flu virus. It is a new virus, though, so most of us don't have any immunity to it yet. I've heard about people I know who recently were diagnosed with it and, since Brianna has been sick for a few days, I was reading online and found some good resources.

According to Pediatrics.com the symptoms can include:
*fever, usually high and can be intermittent (the person I know had a high fever for a few days, but with some periods of relief)
*cough
*runny or stuffy nose
*sore throat
*body aches and/or headache
*chills
*fatigue or tiredness
*diarrhea and vomiting
More serious symptoms that indicate needing immediate medical attention:
*fast breathing or trouble breathing
*bluish or gray skin color
*not drinking enough fluids
*severe or persistent vomiting
*not waking up or interacting
*so irritable that they don't want to be held or touched
*flu-like symptoms improve but then return with fever and worse symptoms

People most at risk for the H1N1 virus are pregnant women, people with a chronic medical condition such as asthma or diabetes, and people with obesity.

Swine Flu, like all viruses, spreads by direct contact with respiratory secretions, such as coughing and sneezing close to you or into their hand then touching something that you come into contact with while the germ survives for no more than a few hours.

An interesting site is the Swine Flu Map. It shows that there are cases in every State! Oregon, and the majority, currently have 100-499 reported cases. Several States have over 500 reported cases.

Another good site is Everyday Health. The problem with H1N1 is it's more contagious and lasts longer than the common flu, so could develop into more serious complications.

The boy I know had symptoms, tested positive for H1N1, and was given a prescription which costs, even with insurance, about $80, which only shortens the duration of the virus a few days, which for those at high risk for developing more serious complications would make it worth the cost, but for a healthy kid, such as this case, they decided to wait it out and the symptoms went away in a few more days, lasting about a week.

Hopefully this gives you encouragement instead of fear. Wash your hands often. Cough and sneeze into your elbow/shoulder not your hands. Keep kids at home until they are without fever for 24 hours (used to be 12 hours, but since the H1N1 causes intermittent fevers, it is safer to wait for 24 hours now). And remember, God is in control! Matthew 6:25-34 "do not worry about your life...who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?..."

Soccer results

half-way through League games, the results are: LaSalle and North Marion tied for 1st, Gladstone and Estacada tied for 2nd, Stayton close behind, Molalla, then Cascade. 3 teams from our League go to State playoffs. Good luck Gladstone!

Soccer update

The boys Varsity team have had a good start this season! One game away from the first half of League games, then we play the 6 other teams in Capital League again...click here to see the scores of all the games we've played so far!
FANS IN THE STANDS:
ISAAC LOVES WATCHING SOCCER GAMES!GREAT-GRANDPA AND MACKIE COME TO EVERY GAME!

Uncle Bill and Shannon's Wedding

The Lewis' have a new, beautiful member in our big family. We are blessed!

2nd Cousins Grace, Brianna, Isaac and Ali were a hit on the dance floor! Isaac loves to hug and kiss!

Miley Cyrus concert

It was a fun experience for Brianna, Auntie Beth (happy birthday!) and Mommy. We had a good view of Miley Cyrus from the cheap seats:

The concert was not without Miley's family there also. Her family supports and helps her with her career. Her older, half-brother, Trace opened with his band Metro Station:

The concert was not without a grand entrance, with lights, smoke and the main star breaking through an "ice" cage: The concert was not without fire, head banging and screaming, and speaking of fire, it was not without a Hot star in trendy, indecent clothing:The concert was also not without amazing dancing and showy acrobatic stunts:The concert WAS without Hannah Montana, much to the disappointment of Brianna, and possibly several young girls I saw attending with their blond Hannah wigs on.

The concert was all Miley:

It made me think of of what Hannah's publicist in the Hannah Montana movie said: "you're not going to destroy their dreams are you, cause that's what Hannah's all about."

and her friend Lilly said in the movie: "Hannah's a part of you, don't let her go"

yes, it is just a movie, and it is just a tv show, but it is who the girls look up to, knowing that Miley Cyrus is also Hannah Montana and both, one and the same, sing inspirational songs the whole family enjoy, young and old. And that's the Miley I was expecting but didn't see much of.

I like what 104.1 the Fish's web director had to say in his Editorial: Miley Cyrus at a Fork in the Road: "...she stands on the brink of making weighty long-term adult decisions about her career, her image, the causes she gets behind…and the possible long-term ramifications of stupid choices...As with many before her...also grew weary of being thought of as teen stars doing teen roles. Consequently, their springboards into adulthood were marked by controversial and promiscuous movie roles, scant clothing, seductive song lyric content...A good amount of “trust capital” has been built up in the minds of parents and kids from Cyrus’ "Hannah Montana" product...Imagine what longevity her career would have from taking the “clean” high ground and offering a positive role model for young women; showing that girls don’t have to flaunt and flirt to get ahead in life. Wouldn’t it be great to see a courageous female entertainer prove that you can be a mega-star and still keep your dignity...Happy upcoming birthday Miley. Adulthood will bring you much freedom – but “to whom much is given, much is required.” "

1st day of School

It's finally here! Brianna (1st grade) and Dominick (3rd grade) started school today!
It's going to be a great school year.

Before:After:ahhhh, it was a good day for all of us!